Choices
by Gatergirl79
Summary: Unrequited Sabriel ONESHOT. Why has Gabriel been watching over Sam Winchester and when did it start?


**A/N: ****Also Special thanks to my Beta Saysesydo. You're the best. Any remaining grammar/spelling mistakes are mine and mine alone.**

**Setting: **_**Lucifer Rising**_**. **

**Rating: T**

**Slash but no actually male on male contact. Sorry. **

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**CHOICES**

Gabriel lay in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, his body curled into his side creating a false sense of warmth. His grace, what little there was left, was buzzing and he knew why. Turning his head, he glanced over at the clock on the night stand and sighed. It was almost time. He could practically smell the sulphur in the air. All his hard work had gone down the drain, and if he was honest he'd known it would. As much as he'd hoped Sam would pick the right path, that he'd learn the lesson he'd tried to teach him, he'd never actually believed he would. His father's will be done and all that. Sam was going to break that seal, open the cage and let his big brother out to play, and then soon this whole world would burn.

Turning his gaze back to the ceiling he stared into nothing, his mind flittering back and forward. Seeing everything that is and was and will be; and the pit of his stomach clenched tight. Soon, Sam would kill Lilith and break that final seal, while Castiel would choose an arrogant ill-tempered hunter over heaven itself. Gabriel couldn't help but smirk at that. It was most defiantly a turn up for the books; he doubted many would have foreseen that little twist. But then Heaven had spent millennia behind golden gates never interacting with humanity. They didn't see what he'd seen, never experience what he had. They could never understand the bond two people could share.

His mind travelled on, forward to what that one decision would do to everything. The pain it would cause; the destruction it would bring. He saw it all as clear as day. Dean and Sam parting ways, Dean's trip to the future, because Zachariah is the most unimaginative angel he knew, like that would really force Dean to say yes. Dean Winchester, despite what heaven wanted to believe, wasn't the righteous man for nothing. He was also as stubborn as an ass.

There would be deaths along the way. Sam losing more people he loved and gaining more guilt to balance on those huge shoulders of his. The worst death that lay ahead, Gabriel surmised, was his own. He wasn't fool enough to think he would survive this war. At some point he'd be dragged in, either by force or necessity. And he didn't mind if he was being truthful with himself. Dying in whatever blaze of glory fate had in store for him was preferable to a world without….He shook his head.

The big battle would come, he knew that also. Sam and Dean would make some ridiculously foolish plan that would most probably, considering this was the Winchesters, go completely wrong and Sam would end up making the sacrifice he so desperately wanted to, the sacrifice that he thought would clear his conscience. Huh, if only the kid knew there was no such thing as a clear conscience. After that the world would go to hell in a hand basket. Castiel would do something equally stupid no doubt, making some desperate plea to save Dean from himself. Gabriel couldn't judge him for that; he understood it better than anyone could ever know, but it would go bad. Basically Gabriel figured the next few years were going to be one disaster after another. "Lucky I won't be there to see it," he sighed.

He looked over at the clock again, then lifted his nose slightly. There it was, the storm, getting closer and closer as the seconds ticked away. He laid there, his head turned on the pillow, watching the second hand of his clock beat out a rhythm. Taking them closer to that future. He could feel the remnants of his grace pulsing along with it, and he closed his eyes in an attempt to avoid it. But that didn't help, it only made things worse. In the darkness of his mind he could see again. This time not what would happen when this night was through, but what had happened to bring them to this.

Dean's fight with Sam over that demon and the use of his powers. - Gabriel hated himself every day for not stepping in or warning Sam where those abilities would lead him but he'd hidden too long to risk discovery. His secret had always guided his choices and no matter how much he regretted them, how much he wished he'd made different ones, they had kept him alive and that was the most important thing. So he'd done what he always did, he stood back and watched, because that's all he could do.

He watched the brothers fight. Watched the deaths, and the resurrections. He'd watched as Sam became increasingly addicted to demon blood. He watched the years fly by. Saw every happy and painful moment in Sam Winchesters life. And why? Because he'd foolishly allowed himself to care. After almost two and a half thousand years of being around humanity without anything more than the devotion his father had burned into him, he'd actually opened up his grace, his heart, and let someone in. A nerdy little kid who only ever wanted to be normal.

~**SUPERNATUAL**~

He still remembered it. Clear as crystal. The day he'd first met Sam. He'd been hiding from his brothers, who for some reason had suddenly started sniffing around. Sure, he knew now it'd been because of this. Because heaven wanted him back in the fold. Well, there was no way he'd be their sheep. Of course maybe if he'd gone he could have tried to stop this before it started. But he'd been stubborn. In a desperate attempt to hide out, he took another vessel. A young girl. He knew it was wrong, but it wasn't going to be for long. Just until his bros crawled back into the woodwork. And they would never have expected him to take a female vessel. Up until then, he'd been rather picky when it came to those he chose to share his grace with. Rarely females, never teenagers. But he was backed into a corner with nowhere else to turn.

He tried his best to stay out of the Winchester's way once he figured out who they were, but it was rather impossible in that small town and smaller school. And when Sam came riding to his rescue when a couple of guys thought he was an easy target….well, there wasn't much he could do about it. After that incident Sam seemed to cast himself as his pseudo guardian angel, watching over him all the time. It was rather amusing considering, but he played along. Only because putting up a fight would have drawn attention he couldn't afford. He didn't know until it was too late that he really shouldn't have risked the attention.

They were in the school library studying for some test or other that Sam was determined to ace and that Gabriel couldn't give a rat's ass about but knew he had to do the work for his vessel's sake. After all, she was going to have to live with the consequences when he finally split. Anyway, they were sitting in the back, head bowed over a book when it happened. To say the archangel was shocked would be an understatement of epic proportions. Because how in a million years would he have thought quiet, shy Sam Winchester would have leant over the table and kissed him. - Sure, Sam didn't know he was a him. As far as Sammy was concerned, he was Katherine Greaves, not an archangel.

And Gabriel surprised himself when he kissed the boy back.

That had been the beginning of the end for Gabriel. He could never have imagined one kiss could actually change a life, but it had. After that he'd taken his leave, determined never to see the boy again. But things hadn't been that simple. It seemed he really had spent too long around humanity, 'cause now he cared about what happened to Sam. He'd watched over him for years, always keeping a subtitle eye on him from a distance.

**~SUPERNATURAL~**

Throwing back the covers Gabriel climbed out of the bed, the woman beside him shimmering into nothingness as he turned his back on her. Strolling calmly to the window, he yanked open the curtains to look out over the city. It seemed so peaceful. The world below ignorant to what was coming. He ran his fingers though his golden brown hair and conjured up a cherry sucker, only to dispel it a second later with a wary sight. He folded his arms over his chest and waited. The air was tingling, ruffling his grace. He closed his eyes and instantly saw Sam. As if he stood beside him in that church. He could see Lilith, and that bitch Ruby. Saw the smile of her face as Sam used his powers, oblivious to the fact that he was breaking that final seal.

Gabriel's mind took him closer. He stood so close to Sam now, he could smell the sulphur rolling off of him. He whispered, pleading for the hunter to stop and for a second the tall man paused. But then Ruby spoke, Lilith taunted and Sam carried on. Gabriel sighed warily. He could stop it of course. He could appear in that room and carry Sam away. Save him and the world in one instant. - But he didn't. Why? Simple. - Fear.

Fear of having to face the young man, of telling him everything. He knew Sam wouldn't understand. He'd demand to know why he hadn't stepped in before. Why he hadn't told him when they'd first met? He'd demand to know why he'd allowed Jessica to die. And Gabriel couldn't tell him that, because it would only make the hunter hate him.

So he stood there, watching, listening. He heard Dean's yell. Saw Sam get taken over utterly by the evil within him. Watched as Lilith died and the seal broke. He wanted to kill Ruby in that second, as she looked at Sam with a twisted look of love on her face, blind to the pain he was in. Thankfully Dean got her. Then the cage was sprung and the room the boys were in was filled with a blinding light as Lucifer fought his way free. Gabriel stared out at the city, seeing the bright light illuminate the distant sky like an atomic blast. A shiver rushed down his spine and through his grace and he swallowed hard at the lump in his throat. His gaze lifted to the dark night sky and the plane that was making its way over. They were safe inside, because in that second when hell burst free, Gabriel was faced with a choice and for the first time, he'd done not only the right thing, but the human thing. He'd saved the soul he loved.

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**A/N: Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this, you might want to read the follow-up Better Later, Than Never. **

**Oh, and you if you want to keep informed of any future stories or the progress of any I'm currently working on, you can check me out on Tumblr, link in my profile. Thanks again for reading. **

**GATERGIRL79 signing out. **


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